E Pluribus Mores

Presidential Argument Clinic

In Uncategorized on March 26, 2011 at 8:32 am

Reporter:  We are here today with the first of our interviews with presidential candidates running against Barrack Obama in the 2012 elections.

For our first question:  democracy movements have been breaking out all over the Middle East.  What as president would you do to support these movements and promote democracy in the region?

Candidate:  I told you once.

Reporter:  Well, the interview has just started.  So, no you haven’t.

Candidate:  Yes I have.

Reporter:  When?

Candidate:  Just now.

Reporter:  No you didn’t.

Candidate:  Yes, I did.

Reporter:  No you didn’t.

Candidate:  Yes I did.

Reporter (flustered):  Well on to the next question.  You are on record as saying you wish to repeal Obama’s healthcare law.  But you are also on record as being concerned about the federal deficit.  Given that the largest growth in the federal deficit is due to spiraling healthcare costs, won’t  repeal of the law just worsen the deficit?

Candidate: No it won’t.

Reporter:  But the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office has stated repeal of the law would worsen the deficit by 250 billion dollars.

Candidate:  No they didn’t.

Reporter:  Yes, they did.

Candidate:  I’m telling you they didn’t.

Reporter:  Yes, they did.

Candidate:  No, no, no.

Reporter:  I see. Well how about the issue of Libya?  Do you support Obama’s decision to impose a no fly zone and attack ground forces in Libya?

Candidate: No I don’t.

Reporter:  But just last week you stated in an interview, and I quote, “Obama should impose a no fly zone and attack ground forces in Libya.”

Candidate:  No I didn’t.

Reporter:  You DID.

Candidate:  Nonsense!

Reporter (getting frustrated):  Well look, if you are running for office you need to provide an argument why the country should elect you.  What you have provided is not an argument.

Candidate:  Yes it is.

Reporter:  An argument isn’t just contradiction.

Candidate:  Well it CAN be!

Reporter:  No it can’t!  An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

Candidate:  No it isn’t.

Reporter:  Yes it is.  It isn’t just contradiction.

Candidate:  Look, if I “argue” with the president, I must take up a contrary position!

Reporter:  But it isn’t just saying ‘no it isn’t’.

Candidate: Yes it is!

Reporter:  No it isn’t!

Candidate:  Yes it is!

Reporter:  No it ISN’T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the president says.

Candidate:  It is NOT!

Reporter:  Yes it is!

Candidate:  It isn’t.

Reporter:  IS!

Candidate:  Thank you, that’s it.

Reporter:  But you haven’t answered any of my questions?

Candidate:  I am not allowed to argue unless you have paid.

Reporter:  Do you mean, like a donor to your campaign?

Candidate:  Hmm.  Hmm.  Hmm.

Reporter:  Aren’t you running for a public office?  And shouldn’t you be accountable to the public, not a handful of wealthy donors?

Candidate:  No I shouldn’t.

Reporter:  Gotcha!  If you are arguing, I must be right!

Candidate:  Not necessarily.  I could be arguing in my spare time.

Reporter:  Well I’ve had enough of this.

Candidate:  No you haven’t.

Tune in next week when we have the second of our interviews with presidential candidates running against Barrack Obama in the 2012 elections.

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