E Pluribus Mores

Henry Kissinger’s Wife

In Uncategorized on August 2, 2011 at 5:37 am

I was hanging out with Dad’s friends from the old neighborhood in the Bronx. One of them, Jerry, who looks (and sounds) disturbingly like George’s dad on Seinfeld, told a story about working at a bank in Manhattan. It was the main branch of a fairly large bank, so they used to get some big clients, one of whom was Henry Kissinger. It was not uncommon, then, to see Henry Kissinger’s wife come in to the bank flanked by secret service agents and carrying a small, fluffy, white dog. She was an important client, so she would be met by the bank manager in order to move to a room and conduct her business in private. At this point, she would hand the small, fluffy, white dog to the secret service agent. On one occasion Jerry noticed a secret service agent, expressionless, suit and sunglasses, who was standing in the lobby, holding the leash of the small, fluffy, white dog. Jerry also noticed that the dog was squatting down and taking a dump on the carpet. As Jerry walked by the agent he asked, in his Bronx accent, “You going to pick that up?” To which the agent responded, “Go fuck yourself.”

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